Still Lapsed

Fun Fact: My dad has twin cousins. The male is a priest. The female is a nun.

If I were still an active Catholic, I would want my dad's cousin as my priest. We had a memorial service for my dad's aunt who passed a few months ago. She was in her 90s and lived in Florida. We couldn't make it to the funeral, so this memorial service was for those of us who didn't go to that. My dad's cousin lives in Jamaica Estates as well as D. C. The rectory is a house that priests and holy officials share that has a chapel built into it for mass. It was odd. One minute, we're in the chapel having a full-on Catholic mass complete with the Holy Spirit and partaking in the body and blood of Christ, and the next we're in the formal dining room, partaking in Triscuits and red wine from the wine glasses stocked in the cabinet.

Instead of reminding us of all our sins as many priests in my parish used to do, my dad's cousin interpreted the readings in light of family. He explained that the core of the Catholic church is that we are all brothers and sisters and should treat each other so. That's the kind of philosophy I like in a religion. If he were my priest throughout my life, I might still be with the church.

Then again, as I went through the protocol of the mass, reciting the prayers and responsorial psalms, I got a little freaked out. I remembered it all, every word, phrase, and movement, even after having been gone from those rituals. I don't like stuff like that. I took a moment to stop and listen, and I simply don't like a bunch of people reciting prayers all at once like that. For instance, there's one part of mass where the priest says to give praise and thanks to the Lord, and we all respond quickly in the same monotone voice without thinking, "It is right to give Him thanks and praise." Creepy. It seems so robotic. That's a part of organized religion I don't get. So while my dad's cousin makes a great priest, I can't lie; I still couldn't be with the church.