Don't Say Asshole

Peter Berg was the hot guy on Chicago Hope--a doctor who played hockey in his spare time. I think that his brother was on the NY Rangers. The player's last name was Berg and was the spitting image of Peter Berg. In any case, I heart Peter Berg, even if he did do that really bad movie where he screws Linda Fiorentinon's character against a fence. This time around, he's behind the camera, directing Will Smith, Charlize Theron, and Jason Bateman. I rarely see a movie because I like a director and while all three actors here are people I don't mind, I'm not a huge fan of any. So basically, I had no intentions of seeing Hancock in the movie theater.

Enter Ocean County, New Jersey. Enter weekend traffic. I introduced Z to Moviefone (I know, who on this earth doesn't know about Moviefone? Seriously. 777-FILM. That's easy to remember. AND it was featured on Seinfeld. Yet Z had no clue. Here's a fun question: Who is the voice of Moviefone? Extra points for whoever answers first). So we called and found out the times for a bunch of movies. We missed Wanted. The next movie playing was Hancock. Why not?

Wow. A pleasant surprise. Will Smith as an asshole is spectacular! It's not like a ghetto asshole or a punk thug. He's a lonely alcoholic superhero named John Hancock who needs a little love but has only these superpowers; these superpowers give him the burden of having to save the world one incident at a time. He doesn't want to save the world, however, because saving the world takes away from boozing time. I can relate, kinda. Buzzkill. Anyway, everyone hates him because he causes massive destruction when he "helps."

The one word that sets Hancock off is asshole. I get that, too. I have two words: don't call me dear or girl. I'd actually rather be called asshole. In fact, one of my students once stormed out of the room, referring to me as an asshole. I found that weird; usually, people call women bitches or hos, also words I don't mind because really,they are so far from the truth. But this student chose asshole, which was refreshing. Back to Hancock. He doesn't like being called asshole. He especially hates it when a punk kid with a girl's name calls him an ass-oll--the kid's got a French accent, but if you're gonna take up name calling, you should at least pronounce your insults correctly.

Jason Bateman is also a trip to watch. He's such a do-gooder and so likeable here. I like Jason Bateman as a likeable character rather than a jerk like the one he played in Juno. I've never watched Arrested Development but I used to watch Valerie/The Hogan Family and he was awesome in that! He also looks exactly the same two decades later. As an ad man committed to helping out the superhero who helped him, he's funny and sincere.

Then there's Charlize Theron. Jeez, she's gorgeous. She's also a good actress so it's really hard to hate her for being gorgeous. There's a whole lot of chemistry firing up the screen when she appears with anyone male. Yowza.

The writing is top notch. The plot surprised me. Unexpected twist out of nowhere sent me reeling, and that hasn't happened with a movie in a long long time. Even though I knew something was going on beneath the surface, I couldn't figure out what it could be, and then because it moved so quickly, I didn't have time to think about it. It was quick and witty and fun to watch. And funny. The person behind me liked the humor element more than anything else, I think--he laughed so hard that he shook the entire row I was sitting in. So even if it's not first on your list, or not on your list at all, see Hancock.

I also found out that Z sometimes talks during movies. Since he has no concept of whispering, I took up a shushing pattern. He would comment, I would quietly shhh, he would say it lower, and I would say Shush! Good times.